I’m going to be matter-of-fact here and say that the past year or so, I’ve been at battle with anxiety, and finding the right medication to help with it. Some days the battle is a downhill piece of cake, other days it’s uphill and lasts from dusk til dawn.
One of the unfortunate “side effects” of the anxiety is a lowered self-esteem. Sometimes it feels like I’m wearing drunk goggles and am seeing myself and the world different from how it really is.
A couple weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch watching stand-up comedy on Netflix with Eric. We were eating ice cream cake and enjoying a glass of wine. I was in a perfectly fine mood. It’s times like these that I sometimes choose to take a few minutes and look at how I’ve been feeling lately.
After some stewing, a new thought crossed my mind. Part of my issue is comparing myself to others, and being too hard on myself. I wondered, when I look in the mirror, am I satisfied with the reflection? Until thinking about it, it hadn’t occurred to me that how I feel about what I’m wearing has an impact on my mood. This certainly is not the root of the problem, but I figured if I am feeling confident about how I look, it would give my ego a boost.
I shared this idea with Eric, and he agreed. He very sweetly explained that I look great no matter what I wear, but that I could look even better wearing things that are fitted and aren’t so plain. I was excited. Wearing a great, well put together outfit can give someone the same feeling as just getting their hair done.
The next morning, I went to my closet, and for the first time ever, let Eric pick out my clothes. He did good, and what he suggested was something I would have felt too self-conscious to wear. But I did, and I actually did feel good in it.
Before having this conversation with Eric, it wasn’t like I was wearing pajama pants and stained sweaters. But I was defaulting to jeans and a plain, ho-hum shirt.
Ever since that night, I’ve been choosing my clothes more wisely in the morning, bearing in mind that I want to feel happy with my reflection when I walk by the mirror. I’ve even gathered some clothes in a box to donate, because they weren’t making me feel the way I wanted to when I wore them.
This all may sound vain, but I believe asking ourselves how we feel about our appearance is important. I’m not saying a pair of Christian Louboutin pumps could cure the blues. But maybe give you a little more pep in your step 🙂